So I figured I should write out a quick note to everyone before I leave for Japan. I'm leaving on the 28th of April. I don't know when I shall return to the states. It could be 6 months it could be 6 years. I'm really not sure about much of anything except that you will all be missed... and that I'll wish you were 'here' when I get 'there' that is "here" when I am there where I wish you "were".
It is pretty official that I'm the luckiest person on the planet. I have the most supportive family on earth, and the most loving and selfless friends, coworkers and customers. It's kind of sad for me to leave you all behind for a while. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit anxious, a little nauseous or a little fearful about what I have chosen to do.
Traveling the world is a big undertaking for me... it's the largest individual feat of my life so far, and what better way to break into the second quarter century of my life?!! My 26th birthday is the 27th... I leave the 28th. I am fully expecting that it will be so much more than I can imagine. I have read travel books for the last 8 months, I studied anthropology in school for 5 years, but I can't imagine that either of those are really going to prepare me for the mental, emotional and spiritual life experiences which I will soon encounter. That's part of my reason for going.
Some folks have asked me "why?", in regards to Japan and India. That is a loaded question. The best and quickest answer might be "why not?!". And really that is as true as any thorough answer I might give. However, there are a number of reasons that might appease those of you looking for something more clear. I feel like most of my friends and family know why... at least enough to equate it with my open lusting for the adventure of life. But for those of you whom I've seen only long enough to serve a cup o joe once or twice a day every day for the last year or so... only long enough to exchange some Dutch love and a smile... or even long enough to have some short but very loaded conversations about life's intricacies.... Perhaps I can clarify.
One major reason is my friend Emily. I'm not sure I would have chosen this fork in the road were it not for her having already done so. And that's the thing. Other people do just fine in other cultures... it's not easy, but it is how so many great artists and writers and musicians have gained immeasurable inspiration. She has been all over the place, she's had ups and downs. So have I and I've been nowhere beyond North America. Why not me? I trust her experience and I trust her advice. I'm intrigued by her world view and by her openness and her true compassion in regards to others. When it comes to travel partners, I know I can trust her and I know I can count on her. And contrary to popular belief, we don't have to fear what or whom we don't know. All we really have to fear is fear itself. Some wise-guy said that once.
Another reason is that I have been pretty sedentary for the last few years. Not enough to become complacent (fortunately), but I have spent two years living in a sort of limbo. Life is too short to just go to work and come home. I have loved the lifestyle that working for the Dutch Mafia has allowed, and I'll likely be back for another round in the future, but it's time for a drastic expansion of life as I know it. I'm looking for a different kind of freedom than making and spending money the same way day in and day out can offer. So many of us fall into the quest for cash to invest in stuff... just stuff. Nice stuff, lame stuff, practical stuff and impractical stuff. It seems as though fewer people dream beyond that lifestyle. I'm not saying it's wrong, or even that I disagree with it... I am saying that at this time in my life, being a single educated male with no dependents or major debts... I'm investing in places and experiences. I'm sure down the road I'll want stuff, in a place of my own. But until I'm invested in sedentism, settled lifestyle, I should use my youth for that which youth is best... spontaneity, stupidity, idealism, frivolousness and Utopian dreaming.
This moves me into more personal territory. Dr. King had a dream. I on the other hand... haven't had a real dream in a long time. It's hard to move forward through life without goals. I haven't had any for a while. I graduated high school wanting nothing but to get out of school, go to college and finally... once and for all... get out of school. That period of time was about a series of smaller goals. Passing classes. Trying new things. Having a steady girlfriend. Aerial Maneuvers class. Pottery studio sessions until 4 or 5 AM. It was a coming of age I suppose. Most experiences were good, but many of the intricacies embedded in the university system, and in the emotional and mental growth in that period of time threw me for a major loop. The discipline and drive I acquired in drum corps really helped from a perseverance standpoint , but anyone that knows anything about drum corps knows that once you've spent a couple summers on the road... I became a bit hardened and jaded. It's hard to top the top of your game. It's hard to beat your own personal best. Nothing has quite compared to the high sense of accomplishment that those championship experiences have provided. Ambition has kind of turned into ambivalence. Confidence has become complacency. Now don't get me wrong... there's nothing wrong with just being comfortable with a routine lifestyle... but not me... not now. Too much to see while I still can. It's a new goal. A dream. Something to strive for. A new challenge.
And last, there is so much negativity in the world today. There are so many injustices, so many horrible occurrences. American media thrives on drama, on scandal, on smack talk and smut. I'm sure our corporate American media system isn't the only one in the world like that, but regardless... between our horrible foreign policies and the misrepresentation of the American public by it's own government... I've about had it. We enjoy a lot of things in America. Most of us take "freedom" for granted, me included. But to be honest... I'd like to represent the states in a positive way. We're not all from Washington DC via Texas, and I'd like to be part of the sovereign American ambassadors of peace to the world. We don't all represent the machine. I'm also very much looking forward to freedom FROM the press if you know what I'm saying.
In short, I'm going to miss everyone. I'm going to miss the comfort zone. I'm going to miss mom's cooking, the dog's whining, dad's work ethic, Andy's brotherly love and that of all the other sisters, brothers and family members I have out there. But I'll be back. I just have to go conquer some fears, make some new and interesting acquaintances, represent my Ducks, my Dutch and my Devils and spread some love. I'll kick out some pics and new stories when I get a chance, and I'll reply to your emails when I can.
Peace, Love and Pork chops,
Chris
